I heard my husband stirring. He’s an early riser so I wasn’t completely surprised, but it seemed awfully dark. I squinted at him and mumbled, “What time is it?” “It’s 2:30,” he said. “I’m getting up to ride my bike trainer and watch the Olympics.” “You’re crazy,” I chided him, then rolled over, and went back to sleep. Maybe you weren’t [...] Keep Reading
Incourage essays
Pandemic lessons: When hospitality is more than entertaining
My daughters gather at the stove giggling and chatting. The familiar fragrances of garlic, oregano, and basil permeate the air. The girls take turns swirling the ruby red tomato sauce and meatballs in the big pot with a wooden spoon. “Be careful with my meatballs,” Nana Maria chides playfully. “You don’t want to break any of them up.” My [...] Keep Reading
How to navigate through the fog of uncertainty
I grew up in Chicago where winters were punctuated by blustery winds, snow drifts, and icy roads. I remember having to put on all the layers to bundle up before school and the strange sensation of my nose hairs freezing when I stepped outside our front door in the morning. After college, I moved to Central California to chase a career as a [...] Keep Reading
When my roses are preaching about healing from trauma
I’m not very good at keeping plants alive. I forget to water them. I leave them in the sun, and sometimes they become parched. I even have a penchant for killing succulents. That said, I love flowers. Watching them grow and bloom makes my heart swell. In this time of COVID-19 and sheltering at home for months, I’ve been longing to see more [...] Keep Reading
The dance of grief and glory through the holidays
I still remember our first Thanksgiving after my husband Ericlee died. My family tried to hold it together. We tried to stay the course with certain traditions, but it was clear everything was off-kilter. He wasn’t there to run the Turkey Trot. He wasn’t wearing his silly apron in the kitchen, helping me chop the butternut squash for the soup. [...] Keep Reading
Pivoting Away from Jealousy Toward Abundance
When I was a newly-minted widow, I started to struggle with envy. In those early days of grief, it was excruciatingly hard for me to see all the summer vacation photos with daddies playing with their kids, the wedding anniversary celebrations, and the perfectly-crafted family Christmas pictures. Feelings rose up inside me that I never faced before. [...] Keep Reading