The hallway started to feel a little toasty on that December afternoon at the Fresno County Courthouse as forty friends and family packed in for the momentous occasion. The joy in the air was palpable for the official adoption ceremony of my three daughters by my husband Shawn. Shawn and I married seven years ago after my first husband [...] Keep Reading
Grief
On butterfly wings: No Shame in Going Gently
Last month I ran in a trail race called Shadow of the Giants near Yosemite National Park. Through the years, this race has become a favorite to run with my friends. The course winds through the Sierra National Forest. It's always a feast for the senses as we run alongside the giant sequoia trees with their enormous trunks pointing toward [...] Keep Reading
5 myths and 1 important truth about grief
After my husband’s death, I quickly discovered people had a lot to say about grief. As a young widow at age 37 and mother of three young girls, I was often surprised by the comments. Sometimes they would share their insights in hopes of offering comfort. Oftentimes these opinions were driven by myths about grief that get passed around, rather than [...] Keep Reading
The healing power of retelling stories
My middle daughter slathered melted butter on layer after layer of paper-thin phyllo dough for the paklava. Her arms moved methodically back and forth. Every six layers, she sprinkled cinnamon, sugar, and walnuts over the pastry like stardust. Meanwhile, my oldest daughter chopped bell peppers at the island next to her sister. I added the [...] Keep Reading
Dear Vanessa Bryant,
The following is a letter originally posted on my Instagram @DorinaGilmore on January 28, 2020. I wrote this letter while flying home from a funeral in Texas after hearing the devastating news about Kobe and Gianna Bryant and 7 others who were killed in a helicopter accident. Although I don't know them personally, my widow-mama heart grieved [...] Keep Reading
The dance of grief and glory through the holidays
I still remember our first Thanksgiving after my husband Ericlee died. My family tried to hold it together. We tried to stay the course with certain traditions, but it was clear everything was off-kilter. He wasn’t there to run the Turkey Trot. He wasn’t wearing his silly apron in the kitchen, helping me chop the butternut squash for the soup. [...] Keep Reading