• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young

Chasing God's glory down life's unexpected trails

  • About Dorina
  • Speaking
    • Events
  • Books
    • New Releases
    • Children’s Books
    • Non-Fiction Books
  • Podcast
  • Running
  • Culture + Travel
  • Blog
    • Freebies

Love well by listening well

A year ago, my husband Shawn and I embarked on a new journey. We joined a marriage class at our church called Re-engage. Shawn and I married four years ago after the death of my first husband Ericlee. He joined our family of four girls (including me) when we were in the throes of grief and gently shepherded us through some tough transitions. Last January, I felt like it was time to focus my energy on investing in my marriage with Shawn.

In Re-engage, we learned some important Biblical principles about marriage, commitment, intimacy, and love. One of the most powerful lessons was on communication. The main thesis was “good communication is essential to achieving marital oneness.” Communication is defined not just as exchanging information but as mutual understanding.

As we worked through the homework and listened to the speakers that week in class, I was convicted that I needed to be a better listener in my marriage. Looking back on my life, I had prided myself on being a good listener. Through the years, many friends had confided in me. I had mentored several younger women, including my three daughters. This required good listening skills.

What I realized was that I was not always listening well to Shawn. Listening was hard partly because of our personality differences. Shawn is a thinker, an investigator, an introvert, an internal processor while I am an enthusiast, an extrovert, an external processor, and an activator. He’s not quick to speak or insert his opinions in conversation. He takes time to think things over and respond deliberately while I am off to the races, creating, strategically solving problems, and processing as I go. By nature, he’s a marathoner, and I’m a sprinter.

Part of Re-engage was practicing what we were learning. We asked each other questions and waited for our spouse’s honest responses. I realized that in order to show my love to Shawn I needed to be “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19, NIV).

One of the steps I’ve taken is to try to be a ready listener when my husband speaks. This is harder than I expected. This is challenging in a house where our three daughters, our phones, our work, and much more is competing for our attention. Perhaps the hardest thing for me is to listen and not respond until Shawn is finished talking.

Listening well is knowing there is “a time to be silent and a time to speak” (Ecclesiastes 3:7, NIV). Listening well is hearing not just with my ears but also with my eyes, heart, and body language.

Listening well has the potential to transform relationships. God modeled this throughout the Bible. I think of the Egyptian slave, Hagar, who escaped to the desert in Genesis 16. She was pregnant, abused, broken, and unwanted. I imagine she felt invisible and hungry for help. In the desert, an angel of the LORD, which scholars believe was God Himself, finds her.

The angel of the Lord found Hagar near a spring in the desert; it was the spring that is beside the road to Shur. And he said, “Hagar, slave of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?”
Genesis 16:7-8 (NIV)

This is a pivotal moment for Hagar because God seeks her out and cares about her story. Love listens. Let’s keep in mind He is the all-knowing God of the universe. He hung the stars in the sky and carved the ocean waves with His index finger. He knew every hair on her head, every heartache she had endured. He knew exactly where she came from and where she was headed, yet He took time to ask her about her story. He saw her in her desert place and listened well.

This encounter makes all the difference in Hagar’s life. God offers Hagar His Presence and a promise to greatly multiply her offspring until they will be too many to count. Hagar and her son, Ishmael, are written into God’s glory story.

More than two thousand years later, we see Jesus Christ listen well to another woman in a desert place. In Mark 5, Jesus is on His way to heal the daughter of a synagogue leader named Jarius. On His way, a large crowd pressed in around Him, including a woman who suffered from bleeding for twelve years. The woman believed Jesus could heal her so she came behind Him in the crowd and touched His robe. Instantly, the flow of blood stopped in her body. She knew she was healed.

Jesus realized that power had gone out from Him. He turned and asked, “Who touched my robes?” Jesus knew all things. He knew who touched His robes, yet He gives her an opportunity to present herself and her story. She steps forward, falls down before Him, and tells Him the whole truth (Mark 5:33 CSB).

Again, this is a mark of a love that listens. Jesus allows her to interrupt Him on His journey and takes time to listen to her whole truth. Jesus not only physically heals her but also meets her spiritual needs by calling her “daughter” and assuring her that her faith has made her well. We are each called to listen well to our spouses, our children, our friends – our people. Especially in this uncertain time with the coronavirus spreading and so many quarantined, it’s important that we listen well. Even if we have to distance ourselves socially, let’s not let the Enemy have the upper hand in isolating our hearts.

I recently spoke at a conference for Asian American women called “Someday is Here.” Throughout the day, various women from diverse backgrounds were invited to share their stories of grief, hope, and God’s glory. There was an exhale that happened deep inside me, hearing the stories these mothers, mentors, and leaders have lived and overcome. In listening to them, I felt empowered to go out and continue living my story for His glory.

 

**Dorina loves staying personally connected with readers. Subscribe to her Glorygram newsletter for weekly encouragement and all the behind-the-scenes details about her coming book, Walk, Run, Soar.

Share44
Tweet
Share
Pin
44 Shares

March 18, 2020 Categories: GeneralTagged: community, family life, fear, flourishing, inspirational, marriage, parenting, struggle

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




Primary Sidebar

Meet Dorina

Aloha, friend! If you love stories, you are in the right place. I write about grief, glory, running, food, and more. I hope these words inspire you to chase after God’s glory in your life today!

Find me on Social Media

Categories

  • Book Reviews
  • Culture
  • Featured
  • General
  • Guest Blogger
  • Navigating Grief
  • Podcast
  • Recipes
  • Running

Recent Posts

  • An unexpected adoption: You are loved as God’s daughter February 15, 2023
  • Top 10 Books I Read in 2022 January 29, 2023
  • We Can Bear Witness to the Glory of God in Each Other December 21, 2022
  • Rejoice Advent Devotional: How strength rises when we wait December 19, 2022
  • Learning to trust the Potter and the process November 11, 2022

Popular Posts

  • Celebrating a Heaveniversary: 10 ways to honor a loved one’s death
  • 10 meaningful sympathy gift ideas for widows and families
  • My refuge: Resting under the shadow of His wings
  • 10 creative ways to honor a loved one’s memory (and clean out the garage)

Tags

abundance behold brave christian blog christianity christmas community compassion cooking courage creativity culture death dorina lazo gilmore family life fear finishing well flourishing food stories friendship gifts Grief haiti hope identity Incourage essays inspirational kids laughter Main dish margin marriage parenting passion relationships rest self-care serve sharing faith social justice struggle transitions wonder world travel writing

Before Footer

Today I got to watch my Zayla girl and her choir perform at CalPoly Performing Arts Center. What a great opportunity for these kids! I loved hearing all the choirs and the variety of pieces and styles they brought.

Afterwards we spent the afternoon with friends at Cayucos Beach and rounded out our day at one of my favorite restaurants Giuseppe’s at the Central Coast! Yummy!

These are the days I want to slow down, the days I want to savor and remember forever. My baby girl is not a baby girl anymore!

#oceantherapy #choirkid #momlife

View

Mar 25

Open
Today I got to watch my Zayla girl and her choir perform at CalPoly Performing Arts Center. What a great opportunity for these kids! I loved hearing all the choirs and the variety of pieces and styles they brought. 
Afterwards we spent the afternoon with friends at Cayucos Beach and rounded out our day at one of my favorite restaurants Giuseppe’s at the Central Coast! Yummy! 
These are the days I want to slow down, the days I want to savor and remember forever. My baby girl is not a baby girl anymore! 
#oceantherapy #choirkid #momlife
19 1

Several months ago, I invited my friend to join me for a pottery class at a new local studio for her birthday present. We both love to try new things and were intrigued by the experience of using a potter’s wheel to create something out of clay.

The process of forming clay on the wheel was longer and harder than it looks.

The trick was to keep adding water to keep the clay supple and moldable. We pressed, pulled, and pinched until that ball of clay eventually became a bowl or vase.

Metaphors for life abound in the pottery studio.

A few times, the teacher came over, stuck her hands in front of me, and started to work with my clay. At first, I wanted to take control of the clay myself. I wanted to learn by doing it myself. But soon I realized the value in surrendering to her expertise. In fact, I learned a lot from watching my teacher and her techniques.

The first surprising lesson was that it requires lots of water to make a clay pot on a wheel. Clay is naturally hard and heavy, but water makes it workable.

Our souls are much the same. We need consistent hydration. We need the living water that only Jesus offers. On our own we are heavy, brittle; we are dust. With Jesus’s living water, we are malleable clay.

{Read the full devotion at DorinaGlorygram.Substack.com} #pottery #clay #potter #biblestudy #bibleverse #encouragingwords

View

Mar 24

Open
Several months ago, I invited my friend to join me for a pottery class at a new local studio for her birthday present. We both love to try new things and were intrigued by the experience of using a potter’s wheel to create something out of clay. 
The process of forming clay on the wheel was longer and harder than it looks.
The trick was to keep adding water to keep the clay supple and moldable. We pressed, pulled, and pinched until that ball of clay eventually became a bowl or vase. 
Metaphors for life abound in the pottery studio.
A few times, the teacher came over, stuck her hands in front of me, and started to work with my clay. At first, I wanted to take control of the clay myself. I wanted to learn by doing it myself. But soon I realized the value in surrendering to her expertise. In fact, I learned a lot from watching my teacher and her techniques.
The first surprising lesson was that it requires lots of water to make a clay pot on a wheel. Clay is naturally hard and heavy, but water makes it workable. 
Our souls are much the same. We need consistent hydration. We need the living water that only Jesus offers. On our own we are heavy, brittle; we are dust. With Jesus’s living water, we are malleable clay. 
{Read the full devotion at DorinaGlorygram.Substack.com} #pottery #clay #potter #biblestudy #bibleverse #encouragingwords
30 4

Such a good conversation tonight with @sarahrubiobooks about her new book, Her Story, Her Stength: 50 God Empowered Women of the Bible (@zonderkidz )

This is a book I wish I had when I was a young person. I love the way Sarah illuminates the stories and strengths of these diverse women in the Bible and how their stories point us back to God.

We pull back the curtain a bit tonight and dish about how Sarah got the idea for the book, the trials she faced during the writing, and the glory she experienced during the process!

👉🏾Which Ezer story is your favorite? Share in the comments about the woman from the Bible who inspires you! 📚

View

Mar 23

Open
Such a good conversation tonight with @sarahrubiobooks about her new book, Her Story, Her Stength: 50 God Empowered Women of the Bible (@zonderkidz )
This is a book I wish I had when I was a young person. I love the way Sarah illuminates the stories and strengths of these diverse women in the Bible and how their stories point us back to God.
We pull back the curtain a bit tonight and dish about how Sarah got the idea for the book, the trials she faced during the writing, and the glory she experienced during the process!
👉🏾Which Ezer story is your favorite? Share in the comments about the woman from the Bible who inspires you! 📚
21 3

I’m so excited to chat with @sarahrubiobooks on my Global Glory Chasers broadcast tomorrow about experiencing God’s glory through writing and reading kids books. Sarah’s new book is Her Story, Her Strength: 50 God-Empowered Women of the Bible. Join us at 5 pm PT | 8 pm ET here on IGlive!

Sarah Parker Rubio edits children’s and young adult books by day and writes them by night. She was born in the United States, grew up in Costa Rica and Ecuador, and now has a bilingual and bicultural family with her husband, Colombian composer Gary Rubio. They live in Cincinnati with their three wonderful children and two sassy cats.

In a world that too often tells girls that they are not enough, Her Story, Her Strength uses biblical retellings and reflections that include the historical context behind each story to remind young women that they have a God who loves them deeply and empowers them to live and love like he does. For any girl ages 8 and up who is asking questions about her worth, identity, and place in the world and church, this colorful and engaging book provides a positive, loving, and scriptural lens that helps them interpret the messages they receive from their peers, media, and society.

#kidlit #womenshistorymonth #womenofthebible #womensupportingwomen

View

Mar 22

Open
I’m so excited to chat with @sarahrubiobooks on my Global Glory Chasers broadcast tomorrow about experiencing God’s glory through writing and reading kids books. Sarah’s new book is Her Story, Her Strength: 50 God-Empowered Women of the Bible. Join us at 5 pm PT | 8 pm ET here on IGlive!
Sarah Parker Rubio edits children’s and young adult books by day and writes them by night. She was born in the United States, grew up in Costa Rica and Ecuador, and now has a bilingual and bicultural family with her husband, Colombian composer Gary Rubio. They live in Cincinnati with their three wonderful children and two sassy cats.
In a world that too often tells girls that they are not enough, Her Story, Her Strength uses biblical retellings and reflections that include the historical context behind each story to remind young women that they have a God who loves them deeply and empowers them to live and love like he does. For any girl ages 8 and up who is asking questions about her worth, identity, and place in the world and church, this colorful and engaging book provides a positive, loving, and scriptural lens that helps them interpret the messages they receive from their peers, media, and society.
#kidlit #womenshistorymonth #womenofthebible #womensupportingwomen
38 1

“Rise and shine and give God the glory, glory,” Mama sings. 🎶

Glory?, Zayla thinks, wrinkling her nose, “Mama, we talk and sing about glory at church, but what exactly is glory?”

“Well, that’s a good question,” Mama says with a broad smile. “Let’s go look for it.”

____

These are the opening lines to my new children’s book, Chasing God’s Glory. When my three daughters were little, we started going on glory-chasing hunts together. This was the way we would lift our heads to see God at work on ordinary days and difficult days.

The word glory is mentioned more than 500 times in Scripture. If we study the scriptures that mention it, we discover God’s glory is the very essence of who God is, His character. Glory is what sets God apart. It’s the way God reveals Himself to us. It’s His presence.

Back in 2014, I chose the word glory as my word of the year. Little did I know that this single, five-letter word would be the thing God would use to transform me, inspire me, lift me, and carry me through the most difficult year of my life. This would be the beginning of tracing His glory story in the most unexpected narrative.

I had to train myself to notice  God’s glory around me through tragedy and triumph. That was the year my husband was diagnosed with stage four cancer. That was the year my lover leaped into Heaven – the ultimate Glory – leaving me a widow with three small children. That was the year I experienced God’s glory in little girl giggles, home-cooked meals, and road trips. That was the year He showed up for us through our community who served us, fed us, collected money for medical bills, and lifted us.

God has shown me that glory is the very beginning of the story and also the grand finale…

{Read more about it at @incourage today and enter for a chance to win my new book!} 🫶🏾🚴📚🍀🌊🥰

#chasinggodsglory #glorychasers #kidslit #picturebook @waterbrookmultnomahkids #newbook #glory #creation

View

Mar 21

Open
“Rise and shine and give God the glory, glory,” Mama sings. 🎶 
Glory?, Zayla thinks, wrinkling her nose, “Mama, we talk and sing about glory at church, but what exactly is glory?”
“Well, that’s a good question,” Mama says with a broad smile. “Let’s go look for it.” 
____ 
These are the opening lines to my new children’s book, Chasing God’s Glory. When my three daughters were little, we started going on glory-chasing hunts together. This was the way we would lift our heads to see God at work on ordinary days and difficult days. 
The word glory is mentioned more than 500 times in Scripture. If we study the scriptures that mention it, we discover God’s glory is the very essence of who God is, His character. Glory is what sets God apart. It’s the way God reveals Himself to us. It’s His presence. 
Back in 2014, I chose the word glory as my word of the year. Little did I know that this single, five-letter word would be the thing God would use to transform me, inspire me, lift me, and carry me through the most difficult year of my life. This would be the beginning of tracing His glory story in the most unexpected narrative. 
I had to train myself to notice  God’s glory around me through tragedy and triumph. That was the year my husband was diagnosed with stage four cancer. That was the year my lover leaped into Heaven – the ultimate Glory – leaving me a widow with three small children. That was the year I experienced God’s glory in little girl giggles, home-cooked meals, and road trips. That was the year He showed up for us through our community who served us, fed us, collected money for medical bills, and lifted us. 
God has shown me that glory is the very beginning of the story and also the grand finale…
{Read more about it at @incourage today and enter for a chance to win my new book!} 🫶🏾🚴📚🍀🌊🥰
#chasinggodsglory #glorychasers #kidslit #picturebook @waterbrookmultnomahkids #newbook #glory #creation
53 14
FOLLOW @DorinaGilmore

After Footer

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2023 • Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young • Privacy Policy

Breathing Through Grief Resources