• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young

Chasing God's glory down life's unexpected trails

  • About Dorina
  • Speaking
    • Events
  • Books
    • New Releases
    • Children’s Books
    • Non-Fiction Books
  • Podcast
  • Running
  • Culture + Travel
  • Blog
    • Freebies

Grief Journey: Embracing Your Child’s Individuality

As a mama of three girls ages 7, 10 and 12, there’s a lot I’m still learning. In fact, every day is a wild journey of discovery about my girls and myself. One thing I do know for sure: we are all different.

That may sound obvious but it’s a big deal. It’s something I have to constantly remind myself as I navigate the waters of parenting. Each one of my girls is a masterpiece – uniquely wired and created by God.

It’s tempting to get caught up into what other people think about our kids – how they should look or behave or think or act. I have been that mom. It’s been a journey for me to learn how to celebrate each one of my girls and embrace their individuality.

I know that my oldest, Meilani, feels wholly alive when she has a book in hand. She loves all things related to the ocean. She’s also a planner. She loves to know what’s on the agenda for the week. She loves to set up her room for friends to come over and have every stuffed animal, every Lego creation in its place. I also know that my sweet girl sucks her bottom lip when she’s nervous or thinking hard.

My middle daughter, Giada, is a snuggler. She thrives on hugs and cuzzling before bed. She’s a whiz at math and loves to be active. She loves gymnastics and running. She is adept at making new friends and a leader among her peers. She’s the girl you want with you on a long trip to a new place because she can win over any stranger.

My youngest, Zayla, oozes joy and passion. She spends more time standing on her head than she does sitting right side up. She is talented singer and loves to freestyle songs and dances. She scrunches up her nose when she smiles and erupts with contagious giggles. She is independent and strong.

My girls are full of joy, but they have also tasted deep pain. They watched their daddy as he was diagnosed with cancer. They stood by his bedside when his body was failing. They were with me at the grave when we celebrated his life. We anticipate seeing Daddy again in heaven one day and gaining a greater understanding for the heartache we endure.

As a family, we are learning how to grieve both individually and collectively. Recognizing that each of my daughters is unique proves important now more than ever.

My oldest doesn’t like to cry in front of people while my middle little needs someone to hold her close when those tears come. When my 6-year-old misses her daddy, she sings. They are all comforted by pictures on my phone and videos with his voice.

They each have their own unique grief journey. It’s different from mine and other kids who have experienced something similar. These are all things I’m learning.

According to the book Resilient Grieving by Dr. Lucy Hone, “the reliable presence of at least one supportive relationship” has the power to help a child do well in the face of adversity. She goes on to say that “very few individuals who have managed to demonstrate resilience in the face of trauma have done so alone.”

I believe our job as mamas is to lean in close, to listen to what our kids are telling us with words and body language, to get to know what pushes their buttons, and what makes their hearts beat.

A large part of our job is also to embrace their individuality and teach them to be themselves, bravely, in light of that.

My goal is to create a safe space for my children to grieve and celebrate life in their own ways. And we as mamas need to cover ourselves in grace in the process.

 

**I’ve developed a FREE resource with “Tips for Navigating Grief with Kids.” I’m passionate about sharing my personal experiences and walking alongside readers on their grief journeys. Opt in here, and I’ll deliver it straight to your inbox!

Share35
Tweet
Share
Pin144
179 Shares

February 19, 2019 Categories: Navigating GriefTagged: brave, courage, Grief, individuality, struggle, transitions

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Jane Foard Thompson says

    October 20, 2014 at 7:16 pm

    Wonderful insights, Dorina, told by a gifted writer from a tender mother heart.

    Reply
  2. Jane Foard Thompson says

    October 20, 2014 at 7:16 pm

    Wonderful insights, Dorina, told by a gifted writer from a tender mother heart.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. How to Talk to Your Kids About Death says:
    January 15, 2018 at 7:30 pm

    […] want to first acknowledge that every grief journey is unique. It’s important to be attentive to individual needs and personalities. Everything I have learned has come through trial and error with my three daughters who were ages […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




Primary Sidebar

Meet Dorina

Aloha, friend! If you love stories, you are in the right place. I write about grief, glory, running, food, and more. I hope these words inspire you to chase after God’s glory in your life today!

Find me on Social Media

Categories

  • Book Reviews
  • Culture
  • Featured
  • General
  • Guest Blogger
  • Navigating Grief
  • Podcast
  • Recipes
  • Running

Recent Posts

  • An unexpected adoption: You are loved as God’s daughter February 15, 2023
  • Top 10 Books I Read in 2022 January 29, 2023
  • We Can Bear Witness to the Glory of God in Each Other December 21, 2022
  • Rejoice Advent Devotional: How strength rises when we wait December 19, 2022
  • Learning to trust the Potter and the process November 11, 2022

Popular Posts

  • Celebrating a Heaveniversary: 10 ways to honor a loved one’s death
  • 10 meaningful sympathy gift ideas for widows and families
  • My refuge: Resting under the shadow of His wings
  • 10 creative ways to honor a loved one’s memory (and clean out the garage)

Tags

abundance behold brave christian blog christianity christmas community compassion cooking courage creativity culture death dorina lazo gilmore family life fear finishing well flourishing food stories friendship gifts Grief haiti hope identity Incourage essays inspirational kids laughter Main dish margin marriage parenting passion relationships rest self-care serve sharing faith social justice struggle transitions wonder world travel writing

Before Footer

Today I got to watch my Zayla girl and her choir perform at CalPoly Performing Arts Center. What a great opportunity for these kids! I loved hearing all the choirs and the variety of pieces and styles they brought.

Afterwards we spent the afternoon with friends at Cayucos Beach and rounded out our day at one of my favorite restaurants Giuseppe’s at the Central Coast! Yummy!

These are the days I want to slow down, the days I want to savor and remember forever. My baby girl is not a baby girl anymore!

#oceantherapy #choirkid #momlife

View

Mar 25

Open
Today I got to watch my Zayla girl and her choir perform at CalPoly Performing Arts Center. What a great opportunity for these kids! I loved hearing all the choirs and the variety of pieces and styles they brought. 
Afterwards we spent the afternoon with friends at Cayucos Beach and rounded out our day at one of my favorite restaurants Giuseppe’s at the Central Coast! Yummy! 
These are the days I want to slow down, the days I want to savor and remember forever. My baby girl is not a baby girl anymore! 
#oceantherapy #choirkid #momlife
19 1

Several months ago, I invited my friend to join me for a pottery class at a new local studio for her birthday present. We both love to try new things and were intrigued by the experience of using a potter’s wheel to create something out of clay.

The process of forming clay on the wheel was longer and harder than it looks.

The trick was to keep adding water to keep the clay supple and moldable. We pressed, pulled, and pinched until that ball of clay eventually became a bowl or vase.

Metaphors for life abound in the pottery studio.

A few times, the teacher came over, stuck her hands in front of me, and started to work with my clay. At first, I wanted to take control of the clay myself. I wanted to learn by doing it myself. But soon I realized the value in surrendering to her expertise. In fact, I learned a lot from watching my teacher and her techniques.

The first surprising lesson was that it requires lots of water to make a clay pot on a wheel. Clay is naturally hard and heavy, but water makes it workable.

Our souls are much the same. We need consistent hydration. We need the living water that only Jesus offers. On our own we are heavy, brittle; we are dust. With Jesus’s living water, we are malleable clay.

{Read the full devotion at DorinaGlorygram.Substack.com} #pottery #clay #potter #biblestudy #bibleverse #encouragingwords

View

Mar 24

Open
Several months ago, I invited my friend to join me for a pottery class at a new local studio for her birthday present. We both love to try new things and were intrigued by the experience of using a potter’s wheel to create something out of clay. 
The process of forming clay on the wheel was longer and harder than it looks.
The trick was to keep adding water to keep the clay supple and moldable. We pressed, pulled, and pinched until that ball of clay eventually became a bowl or vase. 
Metaphors for life abound in the pottery studio.
A few times, the teacher came over, stuck her hands in front of me, and started to work with my clay. At first, I wanted to take control of the clay myself. I wanted to learn by doing it myself. But soon I realized the value in surrendering to her expertise. In fact, I learned a lot from watching my teacher and her techniques.
The first surprising lesson was that it requires lots of water to make a clay pot on a wheel. Clay is naturally hard and heavy, but water makes it workable. 
Our souls are much the same. We need consistent hydration. We need the living water that only Jesus offers. On our own we are heavy, brittle; we are dust. With Jesus’s living water, we are malleable clay. 
{Read the full devotion at DorinaGlorygram.Substack.com} #pottery #clay #potter #biblestudy #bibleverse #encouragingwords
30 4

Such a good conversation tonight with @sarahrubiobooks about her new book, Her Story, Her Stength: 50 God Empowered Women of the Bible (@zonderkidz )

This is a book I wish I had when I was a young person. I love the way Sarah illuminates the stories and strengths of these diverse women in the Bible and how their stories point us back to God.

We pull back the curtain a bit tonight and dish about how Sarah got the idea for the book, the trials she faced during the writing, and the glory she experienced during the process!

👉🏾Which Ezer story is your favorite? Share in the comments about the woman from the Bible who inspires you! 📚

View

Mar 23

Open
Such a good conversation tonight with @sarahrubiobooks about her new book, Her Story, Her Stength: 50 God Empowered Women of the Bible (@zonderkidz )
This is a book I wish I had when I was a young person. I love the way Sarah illuminates the stories and strengths of these diverse women in the Bible and how their stories point us back to God.
We pull back the curtain a bit tonight and dish about how Sarah got the idea for the book, the trials she faced during the writing, and the glory she experienced during the process!
👉🏾Which Ezer story is your favorite? Share in the comments about the woman from the Bible who inspires you! 📚
21 3

I’m so excited to chat with @sarahrubiobooks on my Global Glory Chasers broadcast tomorrow about experiencing God’s glory through writing and reading kids books. Sarah’s new book is Her Story, Her Strength: 50 God-Empowered Women of the Bible. Join us at 5 pm PT | 8 pm ET here on IGlive!

Sarah Parker Rubio edits children’s and young adult books by day and writes them by night. She was born in the United States, grew up in Costa Rica and Ecuador, and now has a bilingual and bicultural family with her husband, Colombian composer Gary Rubio. They live in Cincinnati with their three wonderful children and two sassy cats.

In a world that too often tells girls that they are not enough, Her Story, Her Strength uses biblical retellings and reflections that include the historical context behind each story to remind young women that they have a God who loves them deeply and empowers them to live and love like he does. For any girl ages 8 and up who is asking questions about her worth, identity, and place in the world and church, this colorful and engaging book provides a positive, loving, and scriptural lens that helps them interpret the messages they receive from their peers, media, and society.

#kidlit #womenshistorymonth #womenofthebible #womensupportingwomen

View

Mar 22

Open
I’m so excited to chat with @sarahrubiobooks on my Global Glory Chasers broadcast tomorrow about experiencing God’s glory through writing and reading kids books. Sarah’s new book is Her Story, Her Strength: 50 God-Empowered Women of the Bible. Join us at 5 pm PT | 8 pm ET here on IGlive!
Sarah Parker Rubio edits children’s and young adult books by day and writes them by night. She was born in the United States, grew up in Costa Rica and Ecuador, and now has a bilingual and bicultural family with her husband, Colombian composer Gary Rubio. They live in Cincinnati with their three wonderful children and two sassy cats.
In a world that too often tells girls that they are not enough, Her Story, Her Strength uses biblical retellings and reflections that include the historical context behind each story to remind young women that they have a God who loves them deeply and empowers them to live and love like he does. For any girl ages 8 and up who is asking questions about her worth, identity, and place in the world and church, this colorful and engaging book provides a positive, loving, and scriptural lens that helps them interpret the messages they receive from their peers, media, and society.
#kidlit #womenshistorymonth #womenofthebible #womensupportingwomen
38 1

“Rise and shine and give God the glory, glory,” Mama sings. 🎶

Glory?, Zayla thinks, wrinkling her nose, “Mama, we talk and sing about glory at church, but what exactly is glory?”

“Well, that’s a good question,” Mama says with a broad smile. “Let’s go look for it.”

____

These are the opening lines to my new children’s book, Chasing God’s Glory. When my three daughters were little, we started going on glory-chasing hunts together. This was the way we would lift our heads to see God at work on ordinary days and difficult days.

The word glory is mentioned more than 500 times in Scripture. If we study the scriptures that mention it, we discover God’s glory is the very essence of who God is, His character. Glory is what sets God apart. It’s the way God reveals Himself to us. It’s His presence.

Back in 2014, I chose the word glory as my word of the year. Little did I know that this single, five-letter word would be the thing God would use to transform me, inspire me, lift me, and carry me through the most difficult year of my life. This would be the beginning of tracing His glory story in the most unexpected narrative.

I had to train myself to notice  God’s glory around me through tragedy and triumph. That was the year my husband was diagnosed with stage four cancer. That was the year my lover leaped into Heaven – the ultimate Glory – leaving me a widow with three small children. That was the year I experienced God’s glory in little girl giggles, home-cooked meals, and road trips. That was the year He showed up for us through our community who served us, fed us, collected money for medical bills, and lifted us.

God has shown me that glory is the very beginning of the story and also the grand finale…

{Read more about it at @incourage today and enter for a chance to win my new book!} 🫶🏾🚴📚🍀🌊🥰

#chasinggodsglory #glorychasers #kidslit #picturebook @waterbrookmultnomahkids #newbook #glory #creation

View

Mar 21

Open
“Rise and shine and give God the glory, glory,” Mama sings. 🎶 
Glory?, Zayla thinks, wrinkling her nose, “Mama, we talk and sing about glory at church, but what exactly is glory?”
“Well, that’s a good question,” Mama says with a broad smile. “Let’s go look for it.” 
____ 
These are the opening lines to my new children’s book, Chasing God’s Glory. When my three daughters were little, we started going on glory-chasing hunts together. This was the way we would lift our heads to see God at work on ordinary days and difficult days. 
The word glory is mentioned more than 500 times in Scripture. If we study the scriptures that mention it, we discover God’s glory is the very essence of who God is, His character. Glory is what sets God apart. It’s the way God reveals Himself to us. It’s His presence. 
Back in 2014, I chose the word glory as my word of the year. Little did I know that this single, five-letter word would be the thing God would use to transform me, inspire me, lift me, and carry me through the most difficult year of my life. This would be the beginning of tracing His glory story in the most unexpected narrative. 
I had to train myself to notice  God’s glory around me through tragedy and triumph. That was the year my husband was diagnosed with stage four cancer. That was the year my lover leaped into Heaven – the ultimate Glory – leaving me a widow with three small children. That was the year I experienced God’s glory in little girl giggles, home-cooked meals, and road trips. That was the year He showed up for us through our community who served us, fed us, collected money for medical bills, and lifted us. 
God has shown me that glory is the very beginning of the story and also the grand finale…
{Read more about it at @incourage today and enter for a chance to win my new book!} 🫶🏾🚴📚🍀🌊🥰
#chasinggodsglory #glorychasers #kidslit #picturebook @waterbrookmultnomahkids #newbook #glory #creation
53 14
FOLLOW @DorinaGilmore

After Footer

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2023 • Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young • Privacy Policy

Breathing Through Grief Resources