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Create in Me a Heart of Hope: Navigating stormy waters

Bedtime was always a struggle.

On a normal day, putting three rambunctious kids to bed can be challenging. After my husband died from cancer, I was left as a young widow with three daughters ages two, five, and eight. Bedtime often broke me. It was like a neon yellow highlighter stroke, a reminder that Ericlee was no longer there to help me. I was suddenly a single mom.

My husband and I were partners in parenting. We prayed for our family together. We agreed on discipline. We tag-teamed when the other person was tired or frustrated. Now I had to be the mother and father in parenting.

I finally got to the point where I had to surrender. There was no use trying to play the proverbial whack-a-mole game every night. As soon as one child was asleep, another one popped up and needed something. I was already emotionally wrung out and so were my girls. I prayed and made a survival decision. All three girls piled into my king-sized bed—the one I had shared with their daddy for eleven years. And now it was our bed. I held my girlies close at night, and often let the tears flow. They struggled to sleep, and so did I. Some nights it was hard to imagine a hopeful future.

I had always imagined my future with Ericlee. We had built a family, a ministry, and community. We chased our dreams together. He was my coach, my confidante, my biggest cheerleader. We were supposed to grow old together.

It felt like my girls had been cheated out of time with their daddy. He wouldn’t be able to attend their high school graduations or walk them down the aisle at their weddings. I feared his absence would damage them emotionally and their grief would overcome them.

In the quiet recesses of my heart, I had to believe that God saw me in this wilderness, in this grief, and that He cared deeply for me. He had a plan. I just didn’t have eyes to see the details yet. And that’s what hope is all about. Hope is believing what we cannot see. Hope is remembering God’s faithfulness in the past and believing in His goodness in the present and for the future.

Hebrews 6 reminds us: “We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go. It’s an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the very presence of God where Jesus, running on ahead of us, has taken up his permanent post as high priest for us…” (Hebrews 6:18-20, The Message).

I clung to hope like a rope that was rescuing me from an ocean of grief. These were uncharted waters for me. And day by day, God showed He was present with us. He was cultivating within me a heart of hope.

Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young

I clung to hope like a rope that was rescuing me from an ocean of grief. These were uncharted waters for me. And day by day, God showed He was present with us. He was cultivating within me a heart of hope. He provided that lifeline.

One way I navigated the stormy waters was through a practice of gratitude. I kept a little journal and tried to jot down a list each day of the gifts I was grateful for. I wrote down the miniscule and the big scale. I felt Him in the splashes of color waltzing across the sky each night at sunset. I heard Him in the made-up songs my two-year-old would croon in the car on road trips. I saw Him when that overflowing manila envelope arrived in the mail with money a church had collected to go toward our medical bills. I tasted Him in the homecooked meals friends brought each night to see us through that hard season when even cooking felt like a heavy task.

He was my comforter, my provider, my husband in a time when I felt like I was swimming in stormy waters alone. As I learned to give thanks in the grief, I began to get glimpses of His glory. Instead of being fraught with anxiety, little by little I learned to breathe again. Each day was a step forward toward hope and healing.

It’s been more than six years since my husband soared to Heaven. I continue to be amazed at the doors God has flung open for my daughters and me. As we have clung to hope, God has given us opportunities to encourage other widows and their children.

God also brought my new husband Shawn to redeem our story in an unexpected way. Shawn was one of Ericlee’s best friends. He was a long-time supporter of our ministry and often came to visit us through the years. We often prayed for Shawn’s future wife. Ericlee had a strong feeling in his spirit that God had someone special for his beloved, single friend, Shawn. Of course, no one could have anticipated that God was preparing Shawn for me. He was the hope and future I never could have imagined.

Friend, if you are feeling overwhelmed and hopeless today, hear this: God is for you. He is sovereign. No matter what impossible situation you are navigating, He is working underground right now on your behalf. Cry out to Him. Trust Him. His promises are still true. Hold tightly to that rope of hope.

LEAVE A COMMENT: When you’ve felt overwhelmed by this world, how has God calmed the figurative storm for you? Did it happen when or how you expected?

For weekly stories and resources on how to discover more of God’s glory, subscribe to Dorina’s Glorygram here or follow her on Instagram.

This story is part of the new Create in Me a Heart of Hope Bible study by (in)courage. Check it out here and consider it for your next group Bible study!

Main photo by Unsplash

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April 4, 2022 Categories: General

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  1. Jane Thompson says

    April 4, 2022 at 1:46 pm

    Thank you, Dorina, for that beautiful reminder of God’s faithfulness, even when all looks hopeless or overwhelming.

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Meet Dorina

Aloha, friend! If you love stories, you are in the right place. I write about grief, glory, running, food, and more. I hope these words inspire you to chase after God’s glory in your life today!

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Recent Posts

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  • The power of sharing your story: Three women in the Bible who changed history September 24, 2023
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It’s December 1! 🌟 The start of Advent is upon us! This is my favorite time of the year as we come together to wait, anticipate, and usher in our coming king!

Once again, I’ve prepared a four-part advent devotional for you and yours. The 2023 theme is HESED - steadfast love! 🫶🏾

This experience includes:

🌟A relatable story
🌟Scripture readings
🌟Inspiring teaching
🌟Reflection questions
🌟Audio recording
🌟Music playlist
🌟Recipe for a holiday favorite

All of this is a gift to my paid subscribers this year. Join my Glorygram tribe for $5/month or $50/year: DorinaGlorygram.Substack.com/subscribe or DM me for the link or with any questions! If you’re already a paid subscriber, the experience will be delivered to you automatically. Thanks for supporting this ministry! 🩵

#adventdevotional #advent #devotional #christmas #bible #scripture #christmastradition

Let’s light the candles and dive in together! 🕯️

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Dec 1

Open
It’s December 1! 🌟 The start of Advent is upon us! This is my favorite time of the year as we come together to wait, anticipate, and usher in our coming king!
Once again, I’ve prepared a four-part advent devotional for you and yours. The 2023 theme is HESED - steadfast love! 🫶🏾
This experience includes:
🌟A relatable story
🌟Scripture readings
🌟Inspiring teaching 
🌟Reflection questions 
🌟Audio recording 
🌟Music playlist
🌟Recipe for a holiday favorite 
All of this is a gift to my paid subscribers this year. Join my Glorygram tribe for $5/month or $50/year: DorinaGlorygram.Substack.com/subscribe or DM me for the link or with any questions! If you’re already a paid subscriber, the experience will be delivered to you automatically. Thanks for supporting this ministry! 🩵
#adventdevotional #advent #devotional #christmas #bible #scripture #christmastradition 
Let’s light the candles and dive in together! 🕯️
7 0

Join me today for a walk through psalm 146! We are almost at the end of our study on the entire 5 books of psalms…

We talked and prayed through 4 themes present in psalm 146:
🌟 praise
🌟trust
🌟help
🌟reign

🎁What are you praising God for today? Share in the comments, friend!

🎄Sign up for my 4-part Adventure devotional at https://substack.com/@dorinaglorygram

View

Dec 1

Open
Join me today for a walk through psalm 146! We are almost at the end of our study on the entire 5 books of psalms…
We talked and prayed through 4 themes present in psalm 146: 
🌟 praise
🌟trust
🌟help
🌟reign
🎁What are you praising God for today? Share in the comments, friend! 
🎄Sign up for my 4-part Adventure devotional at https://substack.com/@dorinaglorygram
9 0

When my daughters were little, we started a tradition during the season of Advent. I gathered up different Christmas and winter books and wrapped them. Each night of Advent (starting December 1) the girls would open one of these books, and we would read them together. Advent is a season of preparing for the birth of Christ, which we celebrate on Christmas. Reading these books together has been a sweet way to usher in the season and to center our hearts.

Check out our list here: https://dorinagilmore.com/christmasbookadvent or comment link and I’ll send it to you!

📚 Share your favorite Christmas or holiday book in the comments!

View

Nov 29

Open
When my daughters were little, we started a tradition during the season of Advent. I gathered up different Christmas and winter books and wrapped them. Each night of Advent (starting December 1) the girls would open one of these books, and we would read them together. Advent is a season of preparing for the birth of Christ, which we celebrate on Christmas. Reading these books together has been a sweet way to usher in the season and to center our hearts.
Check out our list here: https://dorinagilmore.com/christmasbookadvent or comment link and I’ll send it to you! 
📚 Share your favorite Christmas or holiday book in the comments!
36 8

Now I know it takes time for a family to recalibrate when someone dies. It’s been a decade of Thankgivings since my beloved soared to heaven. Each year has been different. We have learned to blanket ourselves with grace. We have made space for the emotions and grief. We have given ourselves permission to reinvent some of the traditions without throwing aside the memories.

This year, our family made the trek to Southern California to spend Thanksgiving with Shawn’s family. Part of the redemption we have experienced through our grief journey has been in gaining more extended family when Shawn and I got married. My daughters now have a bonus grandma and more aunties, uncles and cousins, who we see regularly. I am deeply grateful for the way the Young-Chan clan has welcomed us with open arms even through years of grief and recalibrating.

I couldn’t help thinking about how God has restored so much in our lives beyond what we could ever imagine. These are my people now. We are part of the family, not just an addendum. We cook and eat and laugh and play games, and it feels natural.

Friend, what are your savoring this year? True thanksgiving doesn’t require perfection or performance. We are simply invited to receive from a God who sees us in the desert and sends streams of water.

{Read the full essay here: https://dorinaglorygram.substack.com/p/when-grief-gives-way-to-joy} #grief #GriefShare #griefsupport #griefjourney #griefandloss #GriefRecovery #griefawareness #joy #joyful #Thanksgiving #thanksgiving2023

View

Nov 27

Open
Now I know it takes time for a family to recalibrate when someone dies. It’s been a decade of Thankgivings since my beloved soared to heaven. Each year has been different. We have learned to blanket ourselves with grace. We have made space for the emotions and grief. We have given ourselves permission to reinvent some of the traditions without throwing aside the memories.
This year, our family made the trek to Southern California to spend Thanksgiving with Shawn’s family. Part of the redemption we have experienced through our grief journey has been in gaining more extended family when Shawn and I got married. My daughters now have a bonus grandma and more aunties, uncles and cousins, who we see regularly. I am deeply grateful for the way the Young-Chan clan has welcomed us with open arms even through years of grief and recalibrating.
I couldn’t help thinking about how God has restored so much in our lives beyond what we could ever imagine. These are my people now. We are part of the family, not just an addendum. We cook and eat and laugh and play games, and it feels natural. 
Friend, what are your savoring this year? True thanksgiving doesn’t require perfection or performance. We are simply invited to receive from a God who sees us in the desert and sends streams of water.
{Read the full essay here: https://dorinaglorygram.substack.com/p/when-grief-gives-way-to-joy} #grief #GriefShare #griefsupport #griefjourney #griefandloss #GriefRecovery #griefawareness #joy #joyful #Thanksgiving #thanksgiving2023
30 2

Are you supporting local businesses today? Consider giving the gift of books this year! Here are five of my book babies for readers of all ages available anywhere books are sold!

📚 Breathing Through Grief (devotional journal)
📚Create in Me a Heart of Mercy (Bible study)
📚Chasing God’s Glory (children’s book)
📚 Cora Cooks Pancit (children’s book)
📚 Walk Run Soar (devotional training journal)

Details at www.DorinaGilmore.com/books #smallbusiness #smallbusinessowner

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Nov 25

Open
Are you supporting local businesses today? Consider giving the gift of books this year! Here are five of my book babies for readers of all ages available anywhere books are sold!
📚 Breathing Through Grief (devotional journal)
📚Create in Me a Heart of Mercy (Bible study) 
📚Chasing God’s Glory (children’s book)
📚 Cora Cooks Pancit (children’s book)
📚 Walk Run Soar (devotional training journal)
Details at www.DorinaGilmore.com/books #smallbusiness #smallbusinessowner
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