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Book Review: Grace Like Scarlett: Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss

The texts were pecked out late into the night. I could read the desperation and grief between the short lines she wrote. My dear friend had endured another miscarriage. Her body had betrayed her again. I cried out to God on her behalf. Honestly, I didn’t know exactly how or what to pray, but I wanted to support. I learned to listen and groan alongside her in that season. I learned about the power of the ministry of presence.

Statistics show 15 to 20 percent of pregnant women in the U.S. experience miscarriage. I remember when I was a young girl my mama shared with me that she, too, endured miscarriage. I have often thought about what it might be like to meet my older sister in Heaven one day.

Experiences like these solidify for me the profound need for Adriel Booker’s new book, Grace Like Scarlett. The book is a moving, personal narrative about how one family endured pregnancy loss and navigated grief. Adriel invites readers to wrestle, to wonder and discover redemption in the wild waves of grief with her.  Her passion is to walk alongside women who endure the “secret grief” of miscarriage.

You know a book has touched your soul deeply when you simply can’t put it down. I am not a fast reader. I underline and highlight and journal in the margins of books. I like to savor the pages over weeks and months. I make books my companions for seasons.

This week I’ve carried this book everywhere with me. I’ve holed up in my bedroom, curled up on a couch in a coffee shop, read while waiting at small claims court and in the pickup line at school. I gobbled up Adriel’s words because she seemed to be writing my heart. At moments, I wondered if she had somehow read my own journals. It felt that personal and resonated that strongly.

Adriel writes, “We had to resist the impulse to deflect our grief or fight our brokenness. We had to reject the compulsion to figure out how this could be rewritten into a success story. We had to enter in as is.”

Although I have never had a miscarriage, I felt like she was mentoring and affirming me on my own grief journey. After my husband died from cancer in 2014, I have grieved and mothered three young daughters through grief.

What I appreciate most is Adriel’s honesty and authenticity. She doesn’t gloss over the pain. She doesn’t skip over her own ugly feelings of jealousy and anger. She doesn’t shy away from the theological conversations about suffering and God’s sovereignty. To use her words, she takes a deep dive into the hard stuff.

I love the metaphor she uses of the duck dive. “Surfers learn early on that unless they want to get swept back to shore, they have to learn to duck dive – take the whole surfboard and duck underneath the coming wave. Instead of trying to get over it or around it, they know the best way through is to go under.”

This metaphor rings true in my own grief journey too. In these last four years, I have learned the way through grief is to dive under with Jesus. The waves swirl and smack. They are powerful and unpredictable, but we must lean in or drown.

I also resonate with these poignant words Adriel writes in “And Then She Laughs”:

“Grief expands the soul and exposes our need, but it also expands our heart to receive love and be changed by it. This becoming can make us more whole if we are open to receive (and by changed by) God’s astonishing love.”

This book is an important read for anyone grieving, and particularly for families navigating pregnancy loss. I was especially touched by the letter to grieving dads written by her husband and ideas for helping kids process grief in miscarriage included in the appendix.

 

**I would love to connect with and encourage you more regularly! I send out book, podcast and recipe recommendations to my Glory Chasers tribe here.

**I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by linking to amazon.com. There is no additional cost to readers.

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May 4, 2018 Categories: Book Reviews, Navigating GriefTagged: brave, compassion, death, family life, Grief, hope, struggle

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  1. Adriel Booker says

    May 4, 2018 at 6:10 pm

    This is just the most beautiful review. Thank you so much Dorina.

    Reply

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Meet Dorina

Aloha, friend! If you love stories, you are in the right place. I write about grief, glory, running, food, and more. I hope these words inspire you to chase after God’s glory in your life today!

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Before Footer

I’ve created this compassionate resource for your personal journey with grief. This book was 8 years in the making and offers a comforting, giftable resource for those who are processing their own loss, whether of a loved one, a season of life, or a dream. Breathing Through Grief includes 25 short devotionals that each focus on a different aspect of grief from my personal experience.

The journal also includes special resources such as:
•
breathing exercises
•
reflection questions
•
soul care tips
•
ample writing space
•
advice on how to talk to children about death
•
suggestions on how to approach triggers
•
creative ways to honor a loved one’s memory

If you or someone close to you is walking through loss⁠, let the comforting words in Breathing Through Grief encourage you with the knowledge that you are not alone and bring you a semblance of peace as you continue forward on the road to healing.

The book releases Nov. 14. You can pre-order today. For more information, visit www.waterbrookmultnomah.com.

View

Sep 21

Open
I’ve created this compassionate resource for your personal journey with grief. This book was 8 years in the making and offers a comforting, giftable resource for those who are processing their own loss, whether of a loved one, a season of life, or a dream. Breathing Through Grief includes 25 short devotionals that each focus on a different aspect of grief from my personal experience.
The journal also includes special resources such as:
•
breathing exercises
•
reflection questions
•
soul care tips
•
ample writing space
•
advice on how to talk to children about death
•
suggestions on how to approach triggers
•
creative ways to honor a loved one’s memory
If you or someone close to you is walking through loss⁠, let the comforting words in Breathing Through Grief encourage you with the knowledge that you are not alone and bring you a semblance of peace as you continue forward on the road to healing.
The book releases Nov. 14. You can pre-order today. For more information, visit www.waterbrookmultnomah.com.
8 1

Last week I embarked on a new adventure. My sister and I were hired as the new chefs for the Open Door Sisterhood retreat in Priest Lake, Idaho. This annual 5-day retreat is part of a year-long experience carefully curated and nurtured by podcast hosts and authors Krista Gilbert and Alexandra Kuykendall. This gathering is designed for professional communicators and business women who want to infuse the hope of Christ into their work.

As I was chopping onions and adding fragrant spices to the pot, I felt great pleasure. My heart swelled with delight as my sister and I showed a small group of women how to roll lumpia just like our Grandma Cora taught us. I experienced joy in serving up Pancit, Bibimbap bowls, Butter Chicken, Pizzelles and Pumpkin tiramisu - all the while sharing the stories of how these foods connect to my family.

I remembered one of my favorite stories in the Bible after the resurrection of Christ. Jesus appears by the Sea of Galilee where his disciples were together. The group heads out to fish, but they don’t catch anything.

The next morning Jesus is standing on the shore waiting for them. He calls out, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”

They answer no.

He urges the to cast their nets on the right sight of the boat. The result is a catch of 153 large fish - so many that the net is torn. Jesus urges them to bring the fish for a big fish fry on the shore. “Come and have breakfast.”

None of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish (John 21:11-12, NIV)

We see Jesus’s joy in serving them. He takes time to make bread and prepare fish to nourish them well and then send them out. This is the power of food and sharing a meal across the table. It’s nourishment for the body and soul.

🫶🏾 Friend, what about you? Have you ever had that experience of doing something that brought you great joy and blessed others?

{Read the full reflection here: https://open.substack.com/pub/dorinaglorygram/p/follow-the-joy-set-before-you} #foodie #food #cookingtherapy #nourish #lovelanguage #powertothesisterhood #retreat @theopendoorsisterhood

View

Sep 18

Open
Last week I embarked on a new adventure. My sister and I were hired as the new chefs for the Open Door Sisterhood retreat in Priest Lake, Idaho. This annual 5-day retreat is part of a year-long experience carefully curated and nurtured by podcast hosts and authors Krista Gilbert and Alexandra Kuykendall. This gathering is designed for professional communicators and business women who want to infuse the hope of Christ into their work. 
As I was chopping onions and adding fragrant spices to the pot, I felt great pleasure. My heart swelled with delight as my sister and I showed a small group of women how to roll lumpia just like our Grandma Cora taught us. I experienced joy in serving up Pancit, Bibimbap bowls, Butter Chicken, Pizzelles and Pumpkin tiramisu - all the while sharing the stories of how these foods connect to my family. 
I remembered one of my favorite stories in the Bible after the resurrection of Christ. Jesus appears by the Sea of Galilee where his disciples were together. The group heads out to fish, but they don’t catch anything. 
The next morning Jesus is standing on the shore waiting for them. He calls out, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”
They answer no. 
He urges the to cast their nets on the right sight of the boat. The result is a catch of 153 large fish - so many that the net is torn. Jesus urges them to bring the fish for a big fish fry on the shore. “Come and have breakfast.” 
None of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish (John 21:11-12, NIV)
We see Jesus’s joy in serving them. He takes time to make bread and prepare fish to nourish them well and then send them out. This is the power of food and sharing a meal across the table. It’s nourishment for the body and soul.
🫶🏾 Friend, what about you? Have you ever had that experience of doing something that brought you great joy and blessed others?
{Read the full reflection here: https://open.substack.com/pub/dorinaglorygram/p/follow-the-joy-set-before-you} #foodie #food  #cookingtherapy #nourish #lovelanguage #powertothesisterhood #retreat @theopendoorsisterhood
26 4

I had a fantastic Sunday morning running the Diamond 10k! 🩵💎🦋 The weather was simply gorgeous! I could feel a cool breeze kissing my shoulders (most of the way) on the out-and-back course from the San Joaquin River Parkway Conservatory. My hubby Shawn was the race announcer. The runners got to cross the finish line under a chandelier and sparkly sun rays.

This is one of my fave races because of all the phenomenal women cheering each other on, the beautiful jewelry by Endure Jewelry (instead of traditional medals), and of course, the sparkly donuts. 🍩 🏃🏽‍♀️My friend and race director @sunny.runs always has every detail dialed in to make it a beautiful & community-oriented event! After a long week, this was definitely the breath of fresh air and reset I needed!

#glorychasers #walkrunsoar #eatprayrun #runningmotivation #running #runhappy

View

Sep 18

Open
I had a fantastic Sunday morning running the Diamond 10k! 🩵💎🦋 The weather was simply gorgeous! I could feel a cool breeze kissing my shoulders (most of the way) on the out-and-back course from the San Joaquin River Parkway Conservatory. My hubby Shawn was the race announcer. The runners got to cross the finish line under a chandelier and sparkly sun rays. 
This is one of my fave races because of all the phenomenal women cheering each other on, the beautiful jewelry by Endure Jewelry (instead of traditional medals), and of course, the sparkly donuts. 🍩 🏃🏽‍♀️My friend and race director @sunny.runs always has every detail dialed in to make it a beautiful & community-oriented event! After a long week, this was definitely the breath of fresh air and reset I needed! 
#glorychasers #walkrunsoar #eatprayrun #runningmotivation #running #runhappy
47 2

It was truly my joy to
design, cook, and serve up
11 meals
Over 5 days
Taking 13 women on a
World tour.
Nourishing souls.
Telling stories
through food.

#foodiefriday

View

Sep 16

Open
It was truly my joy to
design, cook, and serve up
11 meals
Over 5 days
Taking 13 women on a 
World tour.
Nourishing souls.
Telling stories
through food. 
#foodiefriday
31 4

📖 Join me today for a verse-by-verse reading and unpacking of one of my favorite psalms! Psalm 139 is a reminder that we are known by God and He is always with us.

Maybe you are feeling lonely today. Maybe you are wondering if He really cares about your grieving heart or sees you in the waiting. These honest and passionate words from David are a honey-sweet reminder that we are never alone.

I personally love thinking about God with knitting 🧶 needles designing and knitting each of us together in our mama’s womb. I love thinking about how with thread and needle 🪡 He hems me in.

🫶🏾What was your fave verse or image from Psalm 139?

#psalm #biblestudy #versebyverse #david #fearfullyandwonderfullymade #knitting #bibleverse #psalms

View

Sep 15

Open
📖 Join me today for a verse-by-verse reading and unpacking of one of my favorite psalms! Psalm 139 is a reminder that we are known by God and He is always with us.
Maybe you are feeling lonely today. Maybe you are wondering if He really cares about your grieving heart or sees you in the waiting. These honest and passionate words from David are a honey-sweet reminder that we are never alone.
I personally love thinking about God with knitting 🧶 needles designing and knitting each of us together in our mama’s womb. I love thinking about how with thread and needle 🪡 He hems me in. 
🫶🏾What was your fave verse or image from Psalm 139?
#psalm #biblestudy #versebyverse #david #fearfullyandwonderfullymade #knitting #bibleverse #psalms
20 6
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